He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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