I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
