Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
