I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
