I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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