He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
