How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm both gender and math confused
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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