my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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