So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
