Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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