If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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