Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Damn victory sex feels great
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
