hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
