I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
