he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
