There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
