Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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