Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I know her cup size but not her name....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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