the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
