Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize