That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
