wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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