He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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