I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
