Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
