i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
