You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it was like eating out sand paper
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
