Plan B is the new Plan A
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
