Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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