and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
