I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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