It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
