I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
