there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
