Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
