if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
