Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
