You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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