Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry teh_shard hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I accidentally had phone sex last night

Fav 6 1833 801
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

Fav 14 2229 845
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

Fav 40 3512 940
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet

Fav 40 6724 975
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.

Fav 42 6251 1276
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

Fav 6 3926 1433
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.

Fav 16 4783 1511
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one

Fav 7 553 1363
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella

Fav 1 57 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT