i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
