We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
