Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
