"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
