all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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