and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
