Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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