Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
