come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
