Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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