CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
