i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize