i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
