halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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