Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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