just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
