You made me cry and you don't even care
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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