We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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