people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize