I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
