I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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