i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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