those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
tell me about the eggs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
