Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
