The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
