I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
