How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i now understand why vodka
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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