i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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