Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
